whew

Well, that’s it. I fly back home to Boston tomorrow. I have been here for FOUR weeks. It has flown by. Because it was such an extended stay, I feel a little more settled in here, so it’s always a little bit harder to leave. For being such a baby, I’ve never cried once leaving home. Not when I moved, not anytime I’ve gone back. It’s weird, because I really never expected that of myself. I mean I don’t cry a lot, but before moving halfway across the country, the longest I had been away from home was 2 weeks, and that was with my best friend on a cruise. A vacation. I knew the length of time and I could see my home at the end of the tunnel. It isn’t like that anymore. I don’t know the next time I will be home. I’m going to Europe for the summer. Then Los Angeles, then life…..I don’t know that I will ever be back here again, really. It’s just kind of strange. It hits me deeply because…it’s me, it’s my life, you know the deal. I’m doing this all on my own and it is so unexpected of me. When we were kids in grade school when the teachers asked you what you wanted to be when you “grew up,” I guess I took that more to heart. I guess I really meant it. I guess I really meant when I said I didn’t want to stay here my whole life, that I wanted to travel the world, that I wanted to live different places and see every city I could. I want to pick where I live and where I go, I don’t want that to be chosen for me. So I took my own path, I’m doing whatever I want to do, and I wish more people would do that. I wish that more people would see the possibilities instead of the obstacles.

After I packed, I realized how I will probably never be able to live with my parents again. After moving out, every time I come back to visit, it’s just…wow. I have no idea how I could live here again.  I realized how happy I am to be going home. I miss my friends ENDLESSLY. I miss going out with them, dancing with them, doing spontaneous crazy fun weird things when there’s “nothing to do.” I miss the city. I love driving the backroads here, but I’d rather walk 5 miles trashed in the middle of the summer at 4am from Allston back to the city because I’m too cheap to take a cab. I will never forget this summer or this year or these people who match my level of insanity so much that it hurts. I’m glad to be going back home.