Grinning Balance

Once I realized last night that every time we pulled into passé (realtalk: retiré) I was consistently holding my balance, my eyes bulged out of my head and I grinned really big and started yelling in my head. Still kept that balance. FINALLY. YEAH!!!!

oh sure

On a scale of 1 to I’ve-had-better-ideas: going to an hour long, really intense workout class with only 15 minutes to spare to get to hour & a half ballet class ranks pretty high.

But I got to catch up with an old coworker afterwards and it was a very fun couple hours of conversation! 

….and then a 2 hour nap.

Slow Start

I’m going to secretly begin blogging again. My intentions here are pure, but just in case it doesn’t work out, I’m keeping quiet. That’s my (and probably everyone else’s) way of cushioning for failure. 

Kind of like when I started ballet as an adult. (Which, should be noted, is in fact my motivation for resuming my bloggins’.) I told the people around me at work since I would be leaving there for class, and they wouldn’t care if I didn’t stick to it or it didn’t work out for me after all. But I conveniently didn’t tell many other people. In my heart I was gushing with excitement and fear and COULDN’T WAIT. Still, just trying to keep it real; I’m like an old person now, my body is different, and although I’ve always loved to dance and have some very very very minimal experience with some group choreography (read: tap when I was like 5 and Cheerleading through the summer before high school), I know better. I had a good idea of how difficult ballet is in GENERAL, let alone beginning as a crotchety old lady with a job and stuff to do. See, I didn’t come into that negative at all, right?

I had been looking for a way to start dancing again since the moment I moved out here. It’s something I’ve longed after for some time and I missed it. I’ve known that for a while, but the older you get, the harder it is to come by some kind of program for beginners that isn’t just some workout class. I wanted to learn the ART of dance. I want to push my body to its limits and see what I’m really capable of. Flash forward a couple of years to November of 2011….and I’ve finally found the perfect program that I am comfortable starting. Excitedly I await the start date of class, it comes, I’m ready, it’s fun, and I’ve started my journey. Except….the next week, when I do this: 

(Just rolled it walking down a step, nothing ballet related.) Great! After waiting and waiting to finally dance again, I pull this awesome stunt. This is my second sprain of this ankle in the past 6 months. And as you might be able to tell, a reaaaaaally bad one. So I’m down for the count.

Of course, even though I’m super impatient and hate the fact that I’ve been banished from the studio, I manage to wait it out and set my sights on a new January start date. Fresh in 2012. I could speak WORLDS about the program I’m in & my teacher, even though it’s been a mere 9 weeks, but I’m going to save that for a bit later.

This Saturday will mark my 9th complete week, and my 13th class. The training circuit I’m in now goes: 101 (Into, 6 weeks), 102 (6 weeks), PBT (6 weeks). I’m taking one 102 level course and one split 102/PBT course per week now. I wish I could take 5 classes a week, if that helps you understand how much I want to be doing this.

Sometimes I’m super critical of myself (it’s tough to turn that voice off!)—my balances with one working leg are just crap right now. Not even on relevé. We think it might just be a matter of my ankles being pretty weak from the sprains still—so I’m doing at least 32 coupé relevés on each leg per day now. I got to talk to Michael (ballet professor extraordinaire) about it and that was his medicine for it. Hopefully it will really strengthen my ankles so I can finally show them who’s boss. In time! I know I’ll find it.

And hopefully in time, when I find it, I’ll be able to look back here, and watch myself progress….which will be very cathartic, and also hopefully helpful in convincing myself to turn off…or turn down…my critical voice. 

So here we go! To another slow start…!